I suppose it's easy for my point to get lost among all the words...
I've been in the buyer's shoes many times receiving a set damaged in shipment. If it's packaged properly, I let the seller know but do not pressure them to handle the situation. They did their part, end of story. I think it's debatable what the "proper" course of action is, and have been helped tremendously as well as told to get stuffed, and everything in between, from my own sellers. If the packaging was crap, however, I give them a chance to respond in almost ANY reasonable way, else it's a SNAD case. This has only happened three times over hundreds of purchases.
By the way, USPS policy states NOT to return a damaged package. They want it to be handled as I suggested to the buyer originally, i.e. insurance claim on the receiver's end. Yet I offered to get involved on this buyer's behalf. They ignored all of that and simply demanded a refund.
But the whole point of the story was eBay's horrible lack of customer service. One fork of the tongue continuously reads "I understand and apologize that this happened to you..." while the other continuously speaks "There is nothing I can do, because..."
I'll reiterate the "fruitcake" element quickly: I attempted to use the online escalation system to get eBay involved after essentially being ignored by the buyer. I selected the "disagree with buyer's reason for return" option. The system immediately and automatically issued a return label for the buyer and set it to be charged to my account upon usage. No human (according to what passes for one employed at eBay CS) is able to intervene, nor even acknowledge the ridiculousness of this occurrence. It's straight up BUSTED.