I also vote for responding to a message about damage. I always assume I'm getting scammed, but communicate as if the person on the other end has the best of intentions. I never offer a discount for damage. What I do is send a message apologizing and explaining in detail how to initiate a return. I don't say anything about shipping being at their expense; they will figure that out if they actually follow through on a return.
All my listings include a 20% restocking fee, which I have yet to charge on a return. It's more of an insurance policy if something is fishy. In some cases, it could protect you against losses with a damaged box or missing pieces.
I sold a woman a built Tardis recently split from the Ideas Dr. Who. She wrote me very upset about the size of the Tardis. Bought it as a Christmas gift for her neice and thought it was something more substantial.
Here's how I handled it:
HER:
Built from the box... Where is the box, instructions? This thing is tiny! I can't give this to my niece for Xmas. Seriously disappointed.
ME:
This sale was for the Tardis only. Box and instructions are not included. I do accept returns. Go to Purchases. To the right of the item click on More Options. Then Return Item. Follow instructions from there.
Cheers,
[me]
She opens a return. Return reason was 'changed mind.' In the comments section of the return she writes,
I thought it was a real Lego set that you build. It s basically a plastic box with a Lego top and very small. Wow! A restocking fee???? Unbelievable! And I have to pay for shipping it back???? So I get what, like $10 back??
I feel bad for her, and email her this:
Hey [her], It's [me] from EBay. Sorry about the misunderstanding about the LEGO Doctor Who Tardis.
There is a silver lining. I have located the set at a LEGO Store that is close to you, and it's on sale.
Here is a description of the set: https://shop.lego.com/en-US/Doctor-Who-21304
Here is the LEGO Store near you:
[address]
Here is their phone number:
[phone #]
I just called them and they have the set in stock. When you arrive ask for, "The Doctor Who Ideas Set."
It's due for retirement at the end of the year, so if you want this set for your niece, this is the month to pick it up.
I hope this helps,
[me]
She then closes the return writing,
I'm going to keep it. Thank you for the legwork on the Lego store, but I purposely don't shop at that overpriced mall. Plus around christmas, parking is horrid. That s why I shop on ebay.
Who knows if it was my buyer-unfriendly return policy or my friendly email that dissuaded her, but this is how I like to handle returns.