Yes, "the message it sends" is always the deciding factor my wife and I use to determine which movie we're going to see.
re: New SW trilogy, I did get the message. Every single man in the story was a looser, comedic relief, bombastic, stubborn headed, needlessly kills and gets others killed. They needed to be hit over the head with a baseball bat in order to learn the simplest of lessons. Although Finn started with a lot of potential, Rian Johnson literally turned him into a coward.
Tell me, which male character in the Disney SW trilogy would you point your son or daughter to and say, "that person is admirable"? So much potential completely wasted with every male character.
The story telling was horrible. Military tactics used were moronic! Just too many problems...